According to Mike Robbins, a well-known author, we get offended by what people say, things on TV, opposing political opinions (especially these days), noise, music, traffic, weather, our family, different view points, and so much more. We believe we are right and others are wrong, if they don’t agree with us. Many of our opinions are self-righteous. Can you relate? What if we allowed others to be as they are? We take so many things personally that have nothing to do with us. When you are reacting emotionally to someone or something, it’s your shadow or mirror that this negative thing is showing you about yourself and life. The more we react to something, the less freedom and peace we have.
1) It’s not all about you. Even though it may seem like someone is being rude to you or something is happening directly to you, most of the time the things you take personally or get offended by have little or nothing to do with you.
2) Have compassion for others. While you don’t have to simply allow people to treat you poorly or let them walk all over you, if you can have compassion for them instead of assuming they’re out to get you, it makes life more peaceful all the way around. Often when other people act in a way you find “offensive,” they are having a difficult time themselves.
3) Right or happy, you choose? In life, you have a choice – you can be right or you can be happy, not both. When you’re obsessed about being right all the time – you’re easily offended. When you let go of your need to be right, you have the space to be happy, peaceful, and joyful.

Wow! Our worries about the economy can lead us to negative thoughts. Keep those thoughts positive. Continue to develop Self which is the mind, body and spirit. “The Art of Managing…How to Build a Better Workplace and Relationships” gives step-by-step process to follow in the development of Self which leads to a better understanding of creating the lives that we most desire for ourselves. “The Secret” by Rhonda Byrne reinforces this concept by saying that everything that’s coming into your life you are attracting into your life. And, it’s attracted to you by virtue of the images you’re holding in your mind. You become what you think most, but you also attract what you think most.

If you haven’t had the opportunity to read, “Sarah” by Kayleen Johnson, you might want to pick up a copy and read. She is an excellent example of giving back to the community and serving others. Sarah Palin is making a difference in the male-dominated world and went head to head with the previous powerful governor of Alaska over issues having to do with ethics and openness in government. She doesn’t back down from adversity when she knows she is right and that what she is right about is for the betterment of society. What are your thoughts?

Do you have a behavior that you don’t like about yourself? When I wrote “The Art of Managing…, I was talking about our hidden Self…it’s the other side of us that we don’t want others to see. Working on Self as helps you rid those negative thoughts and feelings. “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert supports my belief. She says, “People who want to change behaviors or overcome fears, need only to vividly visualize themselves behaving in the desired way and eventually without conscious effort they will simply begin to behave differently.” I truly believe that when you replace those negative feelings and thoughts with positive, you inevitably end up helping everybody.

This year I met Lorna Hines who is a Real Estate Consultant who teaches and coaches effective and efficient dialogues for buying and selling homes. She said, “The power of negotiating is the ability to walk away; and, the skill of negotiating is never having to.” What a profound concept. I learned long ago that the best negotiators are those who do not damage the relationship between the parties. In August 2007, I had the opportunity to talk with Coach Bill Walsh who told me that his success came from the fact that he maintained relationships throughout his life, even when negotiating with others.

The environment and relationships impact our life. Those people who influenced me most pushed me in the direction of continuous education. My deep yearning for knowledge actually made the learning happen. What I have found is that the more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know. I truly believe that continuing education and building on skills is the key to a successful life that can be shared with others. How has the environment and relationships impacted your life and who you are?

People can only evoke reactions in us if we choose to let them. By reflecting and going back in time to when we first remember a similar word, situation, person, or incident, we can work through the original incident by replacing those negative memories with what should have been to make us feel okay. By replacing these negative messages with positive ones, we can overcome negative programming and become more in harmony with our relationships and our environment. As we begin to understand ourselves more and more, we will find ourselves responding positively to more and more situations and relationships with understanding and compassion.

One of my favorite authors, Ken Blanchard, wrote, “There is a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when it’s convenient. When you’re committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results.” What a profound concept. How many times in our lives do we say we are committed when we truly are not? If something that we wanted to happen did not happen, and we reexamine our motives and internal thoughts, we might find that we truly were definitely interested in the outcome, but truly not committed.

Any obstacles to knowing the right course of action are within each of us, and so is the right course. Sometimes it seems as though a decision truly hangs in the balance, with such equal values on both sides. You can hear yourself saying, “I was so close to saying no, or yes.” We hold our thumb and forefinger a quarter inch apart. That close may not be close at all; we knew all along what was appropriate. If we let ourselves be still and listen to our inner voice, we usually know what is right for us to do. If we find ourselves faced with a lot of decisions that seem so close apart, maybe we are not acting according to our ideas of what’s right. It might be time to reappraise our values. If we believe one way and act another, we are not being true to SELF.

Caring and compassion for others lead to the quality of authenticity, of being who you say you are and possessing truthfulness. “The Audacity of Hope” by Barack Obama talks about empathy. Obama believes that empathy is not just demonstrating sympathy or charity, but something more demanding – a call to stand in someone else’s shoes and see through their eyes. If you witness or display cruelty or thoughtlessness toward someone, ask yourself, “How do you think that would make me feel, if it were directed at me?”